It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we made out on top of his cat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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