Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
