I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
