I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
