yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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