nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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