I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
