I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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