He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
