OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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