Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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