You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is not my ceiling
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize