So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
