remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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