We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
