Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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