know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
