that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
