I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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