so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize