Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
