I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
