Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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