Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
