I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize