I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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