so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
