and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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