"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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