talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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