you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
