Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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