Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
