I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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