Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just invented taco cereal.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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