woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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