My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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