The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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