We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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