I am in a vortex of obligation.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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