U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
