i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
