My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
