I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my shit smells like andre
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
