last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
