they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
