ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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