It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
