what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
