YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
