I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
