I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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