It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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