the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
