i think my tv is drunk
I didn't shave. On purpose
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
