he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
