I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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