Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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