she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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