Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
