in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
