seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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