The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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