the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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