Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
