just tell him i said nine months
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
