Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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