I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
