my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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