a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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