Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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