Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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