Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
