I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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