This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
