i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
