She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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