she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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