Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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