Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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