Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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